8/12/2023 0 Comments Anger iceberg kirstie pursey![]() ![]() What would you like to do?” Or if your child’s anger might be fatigue, hunger or sleepiness? “Do you think you’re hungry for a snack? Or you’re sleepy? Could that be why you’re mad right now?” ![]() You can choose one more ride before we go home, or we can go home now. Does the situation need a compromise? “Maybe you and your friend can take turns playing with on the swing.” Are boundaries or limit setting needed? “ I know you’re angry we have to leave the park. Teach children ways to problem solve their anger. What need is not being met? Who or what is frustrating them? This helps children construct a mindful view of anger and why it's happening. Help them identify what the situation is that’s made them react. Help children understand why they are angry. When maladaptive anger is shown, redirect your child by prompting, “Instead of throwing your toys, tell me what’s bothering you.” “Instead of hitting your brother, tell him what’s making you mad.” Make sure you praise the adaptive expressive of anger so your child can feel good about their emotional choices. This will help little ones move from being physical like breaking toys, hitting or other aggressive behaviors to express anger. Encourage children to "Use your words" when anger presents. Learning how to share angry feelings in healthy ways will also reduce the shame and guilt children feel from being destructive with their anger. Helping children to understand healthy expressions of anger will give them self-confidence, teach them positive social interactions, and help them self-regulate confusing emotions. The next step is to reach children that anger can be expressed in adaptive ways (mindful words and problem solving) or maladaptive ways (yelling, getting physical or being aggressive). Healthy and unhealthy expressions of anger.Help them understand while anger is a natural reaction, there are ways for it to be expressed in healthy and unhealthy ways. Teach them that anger is something all adults and children feel. Explain to little ones that anger is an emotion that arises when we feel frustrated, disappointed or hurt. This means that feelings of anger are usually the byproduct of another emotion, and we express anger as a way to protect the true and raw feeling that is at the core of us.6 Tips for Adults, Caregivers and Educators Lastly, I think it’s important for us as moms to realize that anger is often a secondary emotion. You can say, “I understand that you are angry about (fill in the blank), but we don’t (insert unacceptable behavior here) when we are angry.” Try to avoid telling your child to “calm down” or to say that they are overreacting - while acting out in anger is not okay, you want your child to know that feeling angry is okay. Instead of turning immediately toward defensiveness, remind yourself of Truth such as “I cannot control my child’s behavior,” or “this discipline is not working, I need to go at this from a different direction.” ![]() Remind yourself that your child’s anger is not actually about you. If you need to remove yourself from the situation, that’s okay, and sometimes it’s the very best course of action. As a mom, when your child becomes angry and acts out toward you, the best thing to do is to pause, to step away, and to take a minute to regain your composure. ![]() When your child wells up with anger, it’s very normal to become instantly defensive. Dealing with anger is a fact of life when you’re a mom, no matter if it’s your anger or theirs that’s causing problems. ![]()
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